Whew, I can’t believe it’s been six years since I gave birth to the little girl that changed my life.
If you knew me when I was a teenager, you would know I was a selfish person. I was so invested in myself I really didn’t care about other people. When I got pregnant, my family thought they were going to have to raise my child.
That all changed December 6th 2014 at 1:20 pm. I was in awe of that little 7 lb 7oz little girl I just gave birth to.
God blessed me with this little girl because he knew I needed to love someone else more than I loved myself.
At 18 I was that “statistic” a teen mom, I remember being so scared to tell my family that I was pregnant. It’s so funny because I was most scared to tell my brother. If you know my brother and I’s relationship, I just knew he was about to come across that living room that day and knock me out. Instead, he cried, and so did Stephanie. I remember Stephanie grabbing me and taking me to the bathroom and giving me a talk that I would always hold close to my heart.
Being so young when I had Chloe, I feel like we have a bond that’s so strong! I want her to be able to tell me everything and her know that I support her, always.
My pregnancy with Chloe was such a breeze after that first trimester! I was in my last semester of high school when I got pregnant.. I remember my horticulture teacher pulling me to the side and asking me why I hadn’t told her! & that she was so excited for me. My horticulture teacher was literally one of my favorite teachers! She was always sooo supportive and she had the best personality! But as always, I also had teachers that looked at me differently..
I lost friends, I grew up fast. That may, I got a job, and I moved in with my boyfriend.. we found out in June that we were having a babygirl! I was so excited because up until that point my grandmother kept telling me I was having a boy. I had always wanted a babygirl! I remember after finding out going through a list in the car and picking out a name.. my aunt suggested Brooklyn, and I all but cussed her out about that name 😂😂😂 ( Brooklyn and I weren’t on speaking terms at this point because of pregnancy hormones.) Chris ended up picking out Chloe Nicole and I absolutely loved it! I wanted to name her Hadley Emilee Delrae (thank god nobody let me do this).
Chloes due date was November 29th and not knowing anything about pregnancy or babies I thought when they gave you a due date that’s pretty much the actual day they are born………. y’all 🤦🏻♀️😂. I was fully prepared to spend the auburn Alabama game in the hospital.. I remember a week or two before my due date making Josh and Stephanie take me all over auburn looking for an auburn bow… November 29th came and it went and I was stilllllll pregnant.
Josh and Stephanie had a party at there house on November 29th and if I moved a certain way Josh was freaking out 🤦🏻♀️😂. I went to the doctor on December 3rd and my doctor finally agreed to induce me. PRAISE THE LORD. This was a Wednesday. That Thursday I was getting my hair done when I got a call that I was being put in the hospital that afternoon. I remember being in shock.. I remember going and grabbing my bags and heading to the hospital.. my mom calling my dad to tell him I was in the hospital & y’all I swear I think he thought I was in full blown labor because he got here in 2 1/2 – 3 hours 🤦🏻♀️ (he lived in Panama City beach at this time)… anyways, my mom, Josh, Stephanie, Cati & Jock stayed with me one night and I swear nobody except Josh got sleep that night and to this day he will tell you he also didn’t sleep… he snored so bad and between that and the girl next to me being in full blown labor it was rough.. I remember crying thinking someone was in there hurting her 😂🤦🏻♀️.
That next morning, my doctor came in and told me I would need a c-section because I wasn’t progressing.. I was determined I wasn’t doing that.. I laid in my hospital bed for a while and every time I would have a contraction my brother would giggle make everyone be quiet and say shhhh y’all she’s having one. I finally went into the birth room and Josh came in there and asked me what he could do.. I told him do not let anyone else in this room but add some ✨spice✨ to that sentence. He went in the waiting room & added a little more seasoning to the sentence 😂. Later that day my doctor came into my room and asked me was I gonna have a c-section, if not he was going home. I know, that sounds harsh but my doctor was a family friend so he could tell me straight up what I needed to hear. I agreed and y’all I cried. I cried like they were about to take me to that operating room and murder me.
Like I said earlier, I was selfish and the whole reason I cried is because I didn’t want a scar.. My whole family came in the room and gave me there support.. and I still cried because I didn’t want this csection at all I thought they were still gonna kill me and give me a scar.. Josh came in and hugged me and held my hand for a bit and then he went over to the window… my dad patted him on the back and told him I was gonna be okay that’s when he lost it and I don’t know who cried harder at that point me or Josh..
Then the csection happened.. y’all it was a literal breeze. I got a spinal block ( which I thought was an actual block they put in your back ) and my doctor had some Christmas music playing, him and my nurses made me feel like a queen 👸🏻. A few minutes later, they held Chloe over the curtain and I was in heaven.. I looked at my doctor and I told him I loved him. I didn’t see Chloe til like 4 hours after that, that was the longest 4 hours of my life.
I always thought time went by slow until I actually had Chloe, now I feel like I blinked and it’s been 6 years. That feels like a lifetime ago as well though. My whole life changed the day I had Chloe. I no longer felt the need to only love myself because I loved this human being more than I loved anyone or anything.
Chloe has taught me so much, she taught me patience, to love myself again, & she’s taught me payback because whew 😅 she is me made over. I used to stay up and watch her sleep… I still find myself doing this sometimes. She makes me want to be a better person & stay a better person.
Before I had Chloe, I prayed that god would send me a sign to help me change my life around.. god sent me a blessing.. I prayed so much when I found out I was pregnant, I prayed for guidance, I prayed for a healthy pregnancy, I prayed for a perfect child. God answered those prayers for me. And god gave me a second chance to start my life over.
Gods never gonna give you more than you can handle, remember that! I sometimes wish I could go back in time and tell 18 year old me about how much that bald headed blue eyed babygirl is gonna teach you and that growth and journey through life together is gonna help you grow up and give you exactly what you need in life. I also wish I could tell her to savor every moment of those first, and don’t be scared.
That first born, is gonna teach you everything you needed to know. They are gonna show you a love you never knew. They are gonna fill your heart with love and appreciation. They are gonna change your life for the better.
Alll I can say is thank god, for that first born. ♥️
If you’ve made it this far let us pray,
God I pray for whoever is reading this, whether they have a child, whether they are expecting, or if they can’t have kids.. lord I pray you wrap them with love and strength. You show them peace, you show them understanding. Lord, we don’t always know why we are faced with the trials we are faced with but you give us the ultimate answers.. there’s a reason you do the things you do lord, please give us strength for understanding those things lord. Amen.
God, I ask you to protect my first born. I pray that she never has to grow up fast, lord. I thank you for all of the blessings you have provided for us. I thank you for the guidance through the struggles we have faced lord. I pray you continue to pour blessings into our lives, and I pray you continue to show us the path to follow to worship you lord. In Jesus name, amen. ♥️