✨MARRIAGE✨

Are you married?? Let me introduce you to the biggest thorn in my side 😉.

Twank, twink, twinks, twinkyyyyy, Nicholas Logan. Easily one of the easiest people to love. Never met a stranger, I don’t think he ever will.

I met good ole twank twank when I was in 8th or 9th grade. He’s •FIVE• years older than me. We HATED each other, then we became bestfriends and were kinda inseparable that is until we were separable. We lost touch for a few years. Then, we reconnected when I split up with Chloe’s dad. I didn’t know what to expect and let’s be honest, I wasn’t looking for anyone for real. I had a baby to take care of and I wasn’t expecting anyone to help me. I guess I was really looking for someone to hang out with when she was at her dads house. Twink liked to party and I wasn’t that person. I know, if you know me you’re probably thinking 🤔 what?? That’s a lie. Back then, it wasn’t. That really wasn’t a lifestyle I was exposed to until I was older. LESLIE didn’t play with us and all Joey had to do was call that cellphone. So back to my story, I fell in love with my Bestfriend. If you knew me when Nick & I first got together, I was so high maintenance but I was going through such a war with myself I honestly believe I was in one of the hardest seasons of my life. We reconnected on TINDER. hahaha, I know, I know. I swiped *RIGHT* to tell him to update his pictures cause they was ROUGH. He messaged me and I found myself smiling like an idiot at my phone talking to him. I ended up meeting him when he got off one night at McDonald’s parking lot and we talked for hours about how life was. Just like that it felt like we had never lost touch… he ended up telling me he wasn’t looking to start dating anybody before he got out of my car, he just wanted to hang out. Then, proceeded to kiss me ( what a jerk 😂.) he also never stopped blowing up my phone and even emailing me after that … it took a few months for me to let him meet Chloe. I actually ended up letting our friend Jeremy meet her first. I remember we went to Newnan shopping when I first let Chloe meet Nick and I was sooo nervous. When he got in my car I just knew we weren’t gonna work out because she CRIED, & she told him to get out 😂😂. By the end of that evening they loved each other and she didn’t want me pushing her stroller anymore, she wanted twinkle. Fast forward to the next Christmas, we had pretty much moved into our parents house together. We had family Christmas with his moms side of the family & I knew the vibe was kinda off, like everyone had been staring at me & I had no idea why. He was so nervous. His brother finally pushed him into the den, then missed the whole engagement LOL. Nick got down on one knee and all he could say was marry me. I was in shock yall. But of course, I said YES! We got married a year later. In the church his grandparents attended, the church that his parents got married in, as well as his aunt & uncle. I never had intentions of getting married in church, I looked and looked at venues, nothing was more perfect than when I walked through the church doors and visioned myself walking down the aisle.

I’m not gonna say marriage is easy. It’s not at all, I was so use to being independent and doing whatever I wanted without letting anybody know.. let’s all take a moment to laugh at that concept now.

We have been through so many trials and tribulations since we’ve been married. We argue and we fuss, who doesn’t. We’ve experienced loss, fertility problems ( ill get to that topic another day. ), loss of friends, we’ve had the real heart to hearts, we’ve been through so much and I’m so thankful to have experienced all of this with my husband. The one person I know that god hand picked for me.

Girls, let’s get real. Before Nick & I got together, I had been with someone for Five years. We had been engaged, then we broke it off. Sometimes, you aren’t made for that man in that relationship that’s going no where. I wouldn’t trade the relationship I had before Nick though. If I did I would have never had Chloe. Yes I *gasp* had her out of wedlock. My advice to you, is if you have to beg for an engagement ring, leave. If you’re not happy, don’t stay. Don’t end up hating that boy. Chloe’s dad and I ended up hating each other for a while and guess what it’s only toxic for your child. Find someone who loves you, & if you have kids, find someone who loves them too! Don’t give your child any less attention because of a man. Don’t stay in a relationship where you’re not happy for your child either. My child’s father and I eventually became back friends. Him & Nick get along and it’s a healthy environment for my child to be in. That’s the beauty of ✨co-parenting✨.

There’s someone out there for you. There’s someone who thinks you hung the moon & help the sun rise during the day. God made someone for you to be happy with for you to grow a legacy, for you to build a future with. Don’t fight god on that. Don’t stop til you find that person god created for you.

I encourage everyone to find there Nicholas Logan. Find someone who holds you when you need to cry, who goes to work so that you can have the best of the best. Who encourages you to follow all of your dreams. Find your someone who keeps you humble. Or you keep them humble. Don’t settle for anything less than your own perfect person that god created for you.

As always, remember, I love you & Jesus does too!

GLORY TO GOD.

As I stood in my kitchen, listening to music a song came on. God there is nothing better than you. WOW. My heart has been so heavy. This is exactly what I needed to hear!

Turn whatever you need to let go of to god. See how far you get! That mountain you’ve been climbing that’s been such a struggle, gods gonna turn that into a grain of sand.

The things you are going through right now are no mistake. God wrote your story, he knows that this is only a bump in the road. Sis, you gone get through it! It’s your testimony. It’s a trial to get you to the ultimate outcome.

I’m not here to judge you, I’m here to pray for you. Pray you open your mind. Pray you call upon god. Pray you get through that struggle , that heart break that you are going through.

Romans 5:8, I have loved you at your darkest. This has been something I’ve found myself writing on my social media platforms, around my house, saying to myself because GOD has set it in my heart to believe I’m more than enough, I’m clothed in strength. I’m good enough to spread his WORD. God has seen me at my darkest. GUESS WHAT??? He still loved me. He knew I wouldn’t surrender to the devil, he knew o was stronger than I even thought.

If you have made it this far , let me pray for you. Lord, please place your arms around this individual reading this. Let them get out of that dark place. Lord, let them know that they are loved, let them feel the presence of you. God let them confess sin to you, come to know what a great person you are, how easy it is to serve you lord. Let this individual get through whatever they are going through. In Jesus name, amen.

Remember my loves, I love you & so does Jesus. ✨♥️✨

Forgiveness

Did you know god forgives? I made this blog to talk about the hardships of my life. To use this as a platform to get closer to god. I know he forgives because he knew we would sin. I know he forgives because I’ve done some pretty questionable things and I’m still here. I’m not saying go out and murder someone and god is going to forgive you.

God is speaking to me on levels, I’m still comprehending. A few nights ago I prayed, something I haven’t done in a very long time, because. I was angry with god. I prayed for guidance, for understanding, and a stronger relationship with god. God listened because I felt led to start this blog, I felt led to let go of anger from the past. I felt led to lead other people.

If you are struggling with something, trust and believe in god to handle it. I know I have. Repent your sins to god, let him wash away that anger. Let god lead you to become a better person. I can’t wait to share my testimony of how I helped lead people to god one day.

For the person reading this, I pray for you, I pray you get that job, I pray you get that miracle, I pray for that trauma to leave you, I pray for those burdens to be wiped away. In Jesus name, amen.

Let me know if you’d like for me to pray for you. ♥️

Experience loss, from my point of view.

Imagine this: you’re sixteen, it’s that last two weeks of summer before your junior year of high school start.

You have a friend group but you have one friend that’s been there since 7th grade, when you were the weird one, the outcast, THE NEW GIRL. A random girl comes up to you and says HEY! I’m Emilee, we’re gonna be best friends. And, that we were ever since that scary first day of seventh grade!

Back to the first sentence, You’re sleeping in, your phone vibrates and it’s Emilee. “ what’s up?? I’m at work on break, soooo bored!” We chit chat back and forth and she tells me she loves me & I say I love you too! ( this is weird because we never did this). My mom comes into my room & says “if you’re gonna have people over, you need to clean up your room.” This wasn’t out of the ordinary for her to say because our house was kind of like the “it” house, anybody could come over stay as long as they wanted, as long as the house was clean. I got up and started cleaning my room.. It had been raining that morning, which irritated me because I wanted to go to the pool that afternoon.. I remember going to hang up clothes in my closet and the lights in my closet blinking 3 times, this scared me because my grandmother always said if a light blinks three times back to back something bad will happen soon. I remember running into my moms room and saying did your lights just blink? Nope, just mine. WEIRD. I brushed it off and put it in the back of my head..

My cousin soon got off of work and came over and we decided to paint our nails, my mom had left with someone and told us if we needed anything Mawmaw was in her room.. I can’t remember exactly what we were doing when my cousin got the call but I remember her begging me to go with her to the scene of this wreck because she thought it may be one of her employees. Something kept telling me, “ don’t go” and My boyfriend was about to be at my house so that was the perfect excuse. My boyfriend worked a hard laboring job so he was tired when he came inside, he immediately crashed on the couch.

A little bit later, my phone rang. My cousin crystal said hey, I’m on my way back but weird question… have you talked to Emilee, today? I said yeah, why? What’s up?? She said try to call her and let me know if she answers.. So, I did and it rang and went to voicemail. I remembered she told me she was going to her boyfriends when she got off of work, so I figured she was still there. No biggie. So, I decided to get on Facebook.. that’s when I saw it. RIP Emilee. I remember shaking, I shook my boyfriend and usually he was hard to wake up, he woke up on the first nudge. He said, “ what’s wrong??” All I could get out was she’s dead. I remember someone calling my Mawmaw and telling her to get to me before I found out and it was too late.. I remember a few seconds later my phone ringing with my brothers name, I answered it calmly thinking he was gonna tell me to come to the pool, he said hey what are you doing? I never answered his question, instead I threw my phone as hard as I could and screamed. I had no idea someone had also called him to tell him to get to me and that he was down the road at dinner.

I remember my mom finally calling me and asking what I was doing and I was so numb my only response was I’m going to smoke a cigarette. I’m sure my mom knew I smoked but I was never open about it and I snuck outside to do it. She said “ I’m on my way home, I know you’re upset. Call me when you finish smoking.” At that point I really didn’t care what anyone said to me, my heart was broken. I needed to get to the hospital because I knew this was just some sick joke. A lot of people came to my house that night and stayed with me until I told them they had to leave because I needed to be alone.. I remember going to Emilees moms house the next day and her grabbing me and telling me how unfair it was because her baby would never pull in to that driveway again. I remember crying myself to sleep. Then came the visitation, our school counselor was there. She stopped me before I went in and gave the generic if you need someone to talk to let me know speech. She looks like she’s sleeping, your classmates need you to be strong. Blah, blah, blah. I remember losing my composure as I walked up to the casket, I couldn’t believe it and I wanted her to open one eye and say gotcha. I swore I wouldn’t be mad. I’d even laugh, unfortunately, that never happened. I remember attending the funeral, sinking so far into my seat during the service that I wished the floor would swallow me up..

There were candle light vigils after that, that was the first loss that I had cut me to my core. At that point in my life I felt like a misunderstood teenager, who lost her way. That’s where my depression started and being sixteen, I didn’t think to ask for help. I can’t lie and tell you after experiencing something like that it gets better because there are still long nights that involve tears, alcohol, & wishing there was something that I could have done to change the outcome.

Since Emilees death, I’ve gotten closure. Losing someone like her never gets easier. When you experience a loss like that, one day you get closure, it can be days, months, or years. Trust me when I say, they always come back to you and give you a sign they’re okay and have made it to the other side.

August 4, 2012 at 5:11 pm will always have a significant meaning to me. I have that date tattooed on me as a representation of the worst day of my life. That was the day I lost my soulmate, a sister, & a piece of myself that I’ve still not found. I’ve searched for her in many different people. Nobody will ever be Emilee, no body will ever take her place. Being almost 25, I’ve learned to stop searching and to remember she’s that lime green butterfly I see on a spring day, she’s that cool breeze I feel in the hotness of summer time. Emilee was my hero, missing puzzle piece, my human diary. She took my secrets to the grave.

Rest In Peace to the purest soul I’ve ever met. Keep watching over us. We love and miss you.

I hope this finds someone that really needs it. I hope my experience helps someone. As always, if anyone ever needs to talk. I’m here. ♥️

Let’s talk friendship!

when you hear the word ✨Friendship✨ what do you think of? Who do you think of? Do you think of your old childhood friends? Do you think of your high school group of friends? Do you think of the friends you’ve made since you’ve became an adult?

When I hear friendship, my mind automatically thinks of one person. That one person happens to be all of those “friends” I listed above. Being an adult is weird, it’s also hard. Like some days I feel like an adult but some days I wonder what am I actually doing? Also, why do some adults seem more like an actual adult than others?
Did you know you OUTGROW people? Yeah, it’s a thing. The one person, I’m thinking of when I hear the word friendship, we’ve outgrown each other a few times. We always find each other again. I’m about to blow some peoples minds… did you also know you can live THOUSANDS of miles from each other and still be friends, or in our case you’ve been friends so long that they are family.

Life has been so weird this past year.. experiencing loss, quarantine, a global pandemic, fighting depression, having anxiety, being unemployed, and raising a child.. I’ve found myself TIRED. I’ve not seen Brooklyn while she’s been in town this past year, which sucks. But, that’s okay because sometimes we go months without talking to each other and sometimes we text everyday for a while.. it’s funny because I know that we are both in different seasons of life.

She has a ✨ THRIVING ✨ business that keeps growing! 2 sassy little girls, & is married to a man that absolutely worships her! I’m a stay at home mom/wife, who does my best to just get laundry done and dinner cooked some days 😂.. That doesn’t mean we aren’t cheering each other on from afar! I’ll be the first to admit, our friendship hasn’t been the easiest, there have been long nights, there have been tears, celebration, pregnancy, and there’s been a lot of hugs and forgiveness!

As you get older, it’s not about outdoing each other. It’s about finding someone you know is constantly keeping you and your family in their prayers. Prayers for your health, your success, & your future. It’s also about finding someone who you know is always gonna be there no matter what. So, as I end this, I encourage everyone to find their Brooklyn. Find someone who CHALLENGES you to grow. Someone who ENCOURAGES you to take that step in the right direction. Find someone that you find yourself bragging on to your husband. & finally, find someone that loves you through all of your seasons, good and bad.

Goodnight peeps and love to you all. ✌🏻

Let me introduce myself!

Welcome, welcome, welcome!

Hi! I’m Thea. I’m 24, soon to be 25. I’m married to the man of my dreams! I have a six year old daughter. I’m currently a stay at home mom! I decided to start this blog as a way to express myself, vent, & get stuff off my chest. I’m happy you’re here. If you know me, you know this is out of my comfort zone. Let’s grow together!